


So What’s the Point of Cream in Coffee if I’ll Taste Some Bitterness Anyway?

by cynosure_coffee



Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: 5+1 Things, But Not Officially Dating, Developing Relationship, Jealousy, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:42:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25833706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cynosure_coffee/pseuds/cynosure_coffee
Summary: Sometimes, it’s hard to resist silly urges just to grab someone’s attention. (Or: Five times either of them acted on their jealousy, and one time they used words instead)
Relationships: Settsu Banri/Tsukioka Tsumugi
Comments: 7
Kudos: 63





	So What’s the Point of Cream in Coffee if I’ll Taste Some Bitterness Anyway?

**Author's Note:**

> set in ACT 2 timeframe; minor hints of chikaita and juten.
> 
> This has been a WIP for who knows how many months but I finally finished it! Didn't expect this word count though... Thank you carp for proofreading!

Banri looks up from his phone. There’s a familiar grumbling going on around the dining table.

And it’s not from anyone’s stomach.

“What?! I thought we were using this equation for this problem?!” Taichi wails.

“No no no, I’m pretty sure it’s this, and that graph is supposed to go like… This…?” The way Tenma’s sentence ends in a high tone does not reassure Taichi at all. 

“But that doesn’t look right either~ Aren’t the lines supposed to be parallel or… something?” 

“Hey, Tenma-san?” Kumon scoots closer to his side. “I don’t think that’s the right equation either. I mean, my textbook says here…”

“Wait wait wait, aren’t these from the algebra notes we had last year? We had to go back to _that_?!”

“Uuu… I don’t get it at all…!!”

Exam season is drawing close for the high schoolers, so the group study sessions have been becoming more frequent. Today’s session has lasted for just over an hour, but it doesn’t sound like there’s been much real progress. Just a while ago, the younger St. Flora students came home, and Yuki, typical Yuki, had made a snide comment. “What a disaster, you three are just gonna keep surpassing each other in number of idiot cells at this rate,” He declared as he passed by the table. Muku tried to put down the fire by following it with a sincere ‘Good luck!’

It didn’t exactly help them figure out their homework though.

Banri tunes out Kumon’s mumbling, Taichi’s whines, and Tenma’s impatient pencil tapping, as he returns to his game. He’s briefly reminded that he has a passage on theatre history that he needs to look over for class, but he still has time to do that after dinner. Heck, maybe he could even go through it in his private tutoring with—

“I’m home.”

It’s like the devil just read his thoughts and had tempted over an angel.

“Oh, Tsumugi-san.” Banri readjusts his posture to sit up straight. “Welcome ba—“

“Tsumugi-san!”  
“TSUMUGI-SAN!!”  
“TSUMUGI-SENSEI!!”

A chorus of three desperate students snaps to attention, startling both Tsumugi and Banri.

“OH— Uhm, sorry, welcome back!” Kumon laughs sheepishly.

“Haha, I’m back.” Tsumugi eyes the clutter of handbooks and notes, and giggles. “Looks like you’ve three have been busy.”

“Yeah, they’ve been going at it for a while,” Banri interjects. “Doesn’t sound like it’s been going well though.” He can hear Taichi very audibly whimper behind his view.

“Couldn’t you have helped them, Banri-kun?” Tsumugi asks, almost in accusation.

Banri held his hands up. “I was going to— if they asked.” It’s a lousy excuse. Tsumugi looks a little disappointed hearing that, to which Banri bursts a defensive ‘What?’.

“No way! We can do this on our own! Besides, I would rather ask Big Bro for help, not One-Length’s—” Kumon protests.

“Again, I can’t tell if that’s a compliment or an insult!” Banri cuts in the mid-sentence.

“It just so happened that he’s busy with university stuff that he’s not here and I can’t ask him!” Kumon finishes with a huff.

(Banri, again, going defensive and mutters out, “See? Even if I offered I’d be turned down anyway…!”)

“Now now,” Tsumugi’s calm voice eases the tension. “There’s no shame in asking for help when you need it, Kumon-kun. Here, why don’t I guide you three for a while?”

Banri blinks. “Wha— Tsumugi-san, you just got back from your tutoring job, didn’t you?” Honestly, he’s both concerned and amazed that this guy’s kindness knows almost no bounds.

“And so? I can’t simply look past three students who are trying hard for their studies, now can I?” Tsumugi smiles, and though it’s supposed to be sweet, Banri can’t help but feel a jab of guilt when it’s directed at him. 

Both Taichi and Kumon jump up in excitement. Having Tsumugi’s guidance always has helped to make every lesson easy for them, and if they mess up, he is always so patient with them. He likes to praise when praise is due, too. 

Tenma visibly slumps onto the table, strangely exhausted like he’d just finally reached back home after a whole day of getting lost around town while refusing to ask for any directions due to his own pride.

That’s what he gets for trying to play leader on a subject even he can barely get a grasp of.

“Now, what are we going over today?” Banri can tell Tsumugi’s has been ‘Tutor Mode’ switched on, with the way he chimes in with an encouraging tone, the way he strides across the room with grace, the way settles his bag down by the dining chair he sits on. As he goes over the notes and questions the high schoolers have, Tsumugi creates this reassuring air that says, ‘ _Even if you don’t get it this first time, we can always go over it another way. People have different ways of learning, after all.’_

It’s incredibly admiring, Banri thinks. If he had teachers like Tsumugi-san, it would have probably made his own high school life more interesting. 

Interesting, and definitely _not_ distracting.

Speaking of which, he’s been itching to talk about his lessons with Tsumugi— definitely with the homework as the priority, he convinces the tempter in him. Plus, it’s not just in Tsumugi’s ability to teach and be patient that makes the tutoring worthwhile. 

His sweet voice, his soft features. The way Tsumugi-san tucks an ear to listen to his student carefully; the way Tsumugi-san makes a slightly sterner tone when you miss out an important detail; the way Tsumugi-san praises and smiles at you when you’ve figured out a problem on your own; and even the way Tsumugi-san hushes you from any advances you try to make, teasing you that you can only get rewarded when he thinks you can be rewarded—

Okay, maybe it would be a _little_ distracting for Banri.

But he’s not gonna shame himself for thinking so. Kind of. 

Well. Maybe a bit of shame, but.

( _It’s just him and his thoughts anyway._ )

Impatient, Banri finally decides to make a move. He peers over the table where the four are gathered. He’s looking over to Tsumugi’s direction but… Everyone seems too engrossed in the study session, it pisses him off a little that he can’t find a good way to interject. 

“Oh, Ban-chan, are you heading back?”

Thank God for Attentive Taichi.

“Ah, yeah. Seeing you guys work reminded me I had my homework to go through.” A slight lie. He’s thinking of gaming with Itaru to distract himself for a while. Might bug him about relationship advice, which is far from the ideal consultant Banri wants, but he’ll jest the concept for now just to get a crack of Itaru’s relationship with his own senior co-worker.

“Oh?” Tsumugi tilts his head towards Banri in curiosity. “What is it about?”

“Something about… uh, was it Goffman?” He plays dumb. Just a little. “We’re looking into dramaturgy this week.” It’s a big word that Taichi and Kumon are clueless about, judging by the looks on their faces, but Tenma has a faint idea it seems.

“ _Dramaturgy_ , huh? Interesting. That does take me back.” The theatre nerd in him almost looked like he was about to go off on a tangent about his memory of the subject, but resists. “Do you want any help with that, too?”

 _'Too’_ , implying Banri is a second thought. He tries to decipher the meaning of Tsumugi’s smile that comes with it. Maybe he’s got to Banri’s head, like how he sometimes does, fully aware of what the teen’s true intentions are, but will neither acknowledge nor deny it. Or maybe he is just really interested to go in-depth about theatre studies with a younger colleague, curious to see what’s old and new in the lecture rooms.

Both of them are just Banri’s hunches, but he takes the carrot and stick anyway.

“Actually, I was going to ask you. You don’t mind right?” He plays it smoothly.

Tsumugi chuckles. It throws off Banri’s hunches again. “I’ll let you know when we’re done here then.”

Banri nods and wishes the other guys some luck one last time before he retreats to the dorms. He can’t shake off the sense of anticipation he’s suddenly feeling.

…

Banri receives a text half an hour later.

_[ We finished up.]  
_ _[Shall we head to a cafe and discuss your notes over?]_

Itaru snorts at the look on Banri’s face. Banri protests against Itaru’s accusation of him being like an over-excited girl who’s just been asked out a date by her crush. 

Which is absolutely not the case at all. Not one bit!

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For all the time that Tsumugi spends with his students and the younger members of the troupe, handling smartphones still seems to be a difficult concept for him.

He gets instant messaging, to give him some credit. It’s a necessity for everyday communication. Sure, he ends up making typos now and then, and there have been incidents where he missends a photo or a link.

Thank the heavens that, one: it’s usually about theatre, gardening, or something that reminded him of his family dog, Zabi; and two: most media that he tries to send would be so blurry that the mistaken recipient, or even the actual recipient, might not have a clue what’s going on anyway. 

In one instance, he tried to record one part of a Street Act he saw. The actors were so agile, he could’ve sworn they were professional dancers before they were actors. He sent the video to the group chat of the troupe leaders, asking for feedback. But all he got was:

_[Sakuya: Uhm... Erm. It looks… like it was interesting!]  
_ _[Banri: Tsumugi-san, you’re too shaky!! I couldn’t understand that at all!!]  
_ _[Tenma: I’m dizzy…]_

The younger leaders, and some others, have tried to help him since then. The progress has been painstakingly slow, but Tsumugi took it as progress nonetheless.

...

“Banri-kun, let’s take a selfie together!”

The brunette blinks.

“A selfie!” Tsumugi repeats, his conviction still holding.

With how loud Tsumugi’s voice is in this garden cafe, it wouldn’t be surprising if a couple of people turned their heads towards the way-too-excited man sitting beside the small two-person table on the second floor, right beside a glass partition that overlooks the first-floor layout. 

Banri was comfortably reclined on his sofa chair when Tsumugi popped the question. “Uhm, alright…?” He puts his cup down and moves to reach his phone. “How do you want it—“

“I want to take it.”

Banri tries hard to suppress any visible signs of uneasiness or amusement. “You want to take the picture, Tsumugi-san?”

“I know you doubt me, but I think I’ve gotten better at it!”

Banri doubts even more.

“Okay, prove it. Show me the last photo you took.”

Tsumugi stiffens. It piques Banri’s curiosity before Tsumugi recovers as fast as he could by… nervously taking out his phone. He taps until he gets to the latest photo of his gallery, and flips the screen to face Banri.

It’s… Well. At first glance, you would think it’s some sort of dust cloud or maybe even a badly executed latte art. Banri has to squint a bit until he finally sees the form.

“Is… Is that a dog?”

Tsumugi lights up. “See! You could recognize it! I met him on the way here on his walk. He had the cutest little feet, can you see it? The owner said I could pet him and even take a picture. He’s adorable, isn’t he?”

“Tsumugi-san,” he attempts to tell it to him gently, “if I had to take some time to decipher your photo, then it’s not a very good photo.”

“But—“

“If you were to present a photo like this for evidence of a crime scene, it’d get rejected.”

Tsumugi feels the hit but refuses to back down. “H-He was just very jumpy! That’s why it looks so blurry!”

“Jumpy? Are you sure your hands weren’t just shaking?”

“I… It was a really cute dog, so I might’ve been a little excited. But…! That doesn’t prove that it was blurry because of me!”

Cute. 

Tsumugi’s persistence is cute. 

“Mhm~ I don’t know if that’s gonna cut it, Tsumugi-san.”

Tsumugi huffs. “Then I’ll prove it to you now, Banri-kun. I can take a good selfie of us right now!”

Banri raises his hands. “Alright, alright. Since you’re so confident~”

He scoots closer to the edge of his sofa, while Tsumugi readies the camera on his phone. Once it’s good, Tsumugi takes the phone up high, attempting to get a good angle while the camera mirrors their positions. Banri already has his smile ready— or rather, he can’t help but be entertained by Tsumugi’s much sterner face. He’s trying so hard.

Oh, if only Banri could kiss him right now.

He then notices Tsumugi’s struggling with two hands, and then notices that the phone’s screen rotation is locked, putting the shutter button on the opposite side of where the hand’s holding it. Banri’s trying to hold in a laugh now and Tsumugi’s a tad upset by it, as evident by his even more scrunched up face.

“Tsumugi-san, you have to smile~ Smile~”

Tsumugi makes an effort, but in his struggle to find a right way to hold his phone, he drops it—

It falls.

_Click._

Next thing Tsumugi knows, Banri has his arm around him, holding their bodies close. His cheek was barely inches away from the other. And Banri’s other arm? Stretched out, with the hand holding Tsumugi’s phone. 

It’s hard to tell whether the fast heartbeat was their closeness, or the fact a small, nearly-endangered piece of technology nearly fell to the ground without any shock protection to cushion it.

Granted, it’s not a costly phone. But it’s still Tsumugi’s phone.

“That was close…” Banri lets out a relieved sigh. “I don’t know how that slipped from your hands, but be more careful, Tsumugi-san.” The space between them distances as Banri returns the phone to its rightful owner.

Tsumugi nods, a little too stunned to work out a better response.

After a while, Tsumugi has calmed down enough to ask Banri about another new shop that made its soft opening just the other day. The two fall into a casual conversation, and the hours go on like the usual.

…

Later that evening, Banri finds out about something from Kazunari.

He saw Tsumugi looking fondly at the selfie they took earlier before Kazunari surprised him from behind the couch that is. Tsumugi left very promptly after that, of course, but… He wonders if his behavior was an effect from something Kazunari showed to him earlier.

Banri asks, and Kazunari shows a picture they took from yesterday— the one he posted on Inste: the two of them, along with some mutual college friends, taking a photo with frappes on their hands. There was a small exhibit happening at the time, and one of the sponsors was an iced coffee chain that they went to try out.

“I sorta teased Tsumu-Tsumu about it earlier.” He doesn’t sound guilty, or rather, he seems to be enjoying it. “Told him about the event, and then I mentioned how good-looking you were that day too. And then I showed him more photos of you!”

Banri wants to ask just how many stolen shots he took of him that day. Or, actually… 

Did he show them all to Tsumugi?

“And y’know what? I kinda thought I got him riled up, but then he laughed! So for a sec’, I thought _maybe_ I didn’t, but~? I wasn’t expecting him to grab a photo op with you and all, after all that~” 

Banri blinks. “Are you saying—“

“Anyway!” Kazunari chirps. “He looked pretty happy after today, so GJ Settsua~ ☆” He walks away, with no prior excuse, before Banri could say anything further.

...

Even later that night, before he could fall asleep, Tsumugi receives a LIME message from Banri, asking if he could have a copy of their awfully blurry photo as well.

He giggles in delight.

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It’s a joint practice day for the Autumn and Winter troupes.

It’s a seasonal exercise they do— rotating around and putting each troupe in pairs to learn and adapt from each other. Sessions like these make the practice room more packed than usual, but no one seemed to mind the liveliness. 

The Autumn Troupe leader takes a breather, leaning against the wall as he scans around the room. At this hour of the practice, everyone was doing their own thing. Juza and Omi are getting some reflex tips from Guy for an action etude. Taichi is helping out Homare in trying to keep Hisoka awake with a bag of marshmallows that’s going emptier by the minute. Azami and Azuma seem to be more interested in talking about the latest beauty product trend rather than acting at the moment, while on the opposite side of the room is where theatre nerds Tasuku and Sakyo can’t talk about anything _but_ acting. And the Winter Troupe leader himself—

“Is this seat taken?” Tsumugi smiles from above Banri’s head. 

God, what a nice view it is from down here.

“There’s plenty of room,” Banri jests, and Tsumugi takes the invitation to sit next to him. 

For a moment, it’s quiet between them, and the two of them sink into each other’s presence. Everyone knows they’re there, but at the same time, no one notices them at all. Even here, when silence falls between them, covered by the white noise of people around them, there’s never a sense of awkwardness between the two leaders. 

Perhaps instead of awkwardness, Banri could describe the space between them as tension— one that is closer to that of _yearning_. There are just some instances in these moments of rest when Banri wants to grab Tsumugi and run away with him to where no eyes can see them, to where he can let him and Tsumugi just indulge in each other without judgment.

“Not getting tired yet, are we?” Tsumugi’s voice pulls Banri back.

“Is that a trick question?” Banri takes his water bottle and chugs some down. At least he can say his literal thirst is satisfied with this. He takes a big breath out as he releases the bottle’s mouth from his lips. “I could be asking the same thing to you, Tsumugi-san.”  
  
“Well… We haven’t done anything too rigorous, haven’t we? Although that’s supposedly planned for tomorrow, if I remember our schedule correctly.” Tsumugi leans towards Banri’s side with his arm, and their hands are merely a few inches away. “Besides, I’ve been working bit by bit with my stamina, too, just so you know.”

“Oh? You’re keeping up with Tasuku-san’s runs, finally?” 

Tsumugi pouts. “Not to that extent… Tasuku is a whole other level. But I can complete a 500-meter worth of jogging now, at least!” 

Is that _really_ any progress, Banri wonders. “So long as you’re not passing out way before that like Itaru-san does.” 

Tsumugi’s shoulders drop, as if resigning to the fact that he still has a long way to go. “...You’re still young, that’s why--”

“Are you calling yourself old, then?” That earns another pout from Tsumugi. It’s rewarding in its own right. 

“Tsukioka.” 

Tsumugi turns his head towards the voice. Banri grumbles at how the old geezer disturbed their space without so much as a warning. He observes that Tsumugi almost wanted to stand up, but much to his glee, Sakyo gestures a hand to Tsumugi saying there’s no need for him to do so. “What is it, Sakyo-san?”

“Takato and I were discussing a scenario,” the second man in question comes up from behind Sakyo, arms crossed in seriousness, “and we came up with two different hypotheses about what person A should do about the situation. We’d like to hear what you think.” 

Tsumugi nods. “I’m listening.”

Banri wants to eavesdrop as well. Or rather, he wants to try and hit two birds with one stone by participating in the discussion, show off to Sakyo he also knows what he’s talking about, the perhaps bask in Tsumugi’s praise if he and Tsumugi agree on a point, which he is somehow confident that they will. Anything to keep Tsumugi’s attention towards him a little longer. But then he looks down at Tsumugi’s hand right next to him and decides on something less flashy for once.

He figures the angle from Sakyo and Tasuku’s viewpoint should be good enough to hide this.

As he pretends to give his attention elsewhere in the room, Banri slips his fingers in between Tsumugi’s. He doesn’t look back so that he doesn’t give himself away, but he can feel Tsumugi’s shiver to his touch. He can hear Tsumugi’s words cut off as well, to the surprise of the other two adults, but Tsumugi treads on with his sentence as if nothing caught him off guard just now. Soon enough, he feels Tsumugi himself ease his fingers into Banri’s for a more comfortable grip. They lock onto each other even after Tasuku admits defeat as Tsumugi vouches for Sakyo’s hypothesis instead, and after Sakyo berates Banri to get up and continue the training in the next minute. 

It was either he never noticed, or never bothered to acknowledge it in front of the two.

Either case, it saves Banri and Tsumugi a moment of embarrassment.

“... Guess break time’s over.” Banri’s fingers twitch, hesitant.

Tsumugi squeezes his hand against Banri’s. “... Yeah.”

The two stand up at the same time, and Banri claps his hands to call out to everyone’s attention. He can still feel the ghost of Tsumugi’s fingers in-between his, but he wills himself to reserve his thoughts.

There’ll be plenty of time for more after practice.

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The forecast from this morning predicted wrong again.

Tsumugi usually has a retractable umbrella in his bag at all times, but he must’ve left it in a different bag that he used last time he was out, so he didn’t immediately think twice if it’s in the same bag he brings during tutoring. He sighed as he stayed helpless under the bus stop. He hears a faint chatter of a group coming his way. Must be commuters, Tsumugi thinks. 

“—Tsumugi-san?”

Tsumugi looks as surprised as the college kid who called out to him. “B-Banri-kun!” He then notices the other people behind him—a handful, to count. His college friends, likely.

“Who’s this, Banri?”

 _Banri_. Tsumugi blinks, they must be… _that_ causal then, huh?

“Ah, this is Tsumugi-san. We’re members of the same troupe.”

 _Members._ Tsumugi nods. Yes, just co-members, at least to the public eye. “Nice to meet you. I’m Tsukioka Tsumugi. Thank you for taking care of Banri-kun for me.”

A couple of them look stunned, and it gets Tsumugi worried for a second until one spoke up. 

“Nice to meet you, Tsukioka-san. You’re more… Pleasant than we thought.”

“H-Huh?” Does that mean Banri has been talking about...him?

“Oi, you make it sound like I said something _bad_ ,” Banri says.

“N-No!” One of his friends starts. “Sorry, you already seemed to be a really nice person from what we heard, Tsukioka-san! It’s just…”

“You really… _really_ seem like a nice person in, uh, person. Like, this… _aura._ ” Another friend awkwardly adds.

“Is that so? Thank you very much.” Tsumugi politely replies with a smile to what seems to be a compliment.

“He praises you a lot, don’t you know, Tsukioka-san? From the way he talks about you, you sound too good to be true.”

Tsumugi hopes he’s not blushing from hearing about this. Meanwhile, Banri’s trying to get his friend to shut up.

“Almost like an angel, right?”

“I can definitely see it…”

“Tsukioka-san _did_ play an angel, didn’t he? Wasn’t his troupe the one that had a showdown with Godza?”

“Oh, yes! I remember now, I got tickets to that show back then! You were amazing, Tsukioka-san! I was so moved to tears watching that!”

“Th-Thank you—”

“What?! I want to see Tsukioka-san’s acting someday, too! Does your troupe do reruns?”

“To think someone who played the role of an angel would be an actual angel himself. That’s quite the choice casting.”

“I think it’s nothing short of a miracle that Banri was able to become friends with someone as sweet as you, Tsukioka-san. I mean,” one lightly elbows Banri, “look at this guy.”

“What’s that supposed to mean.”

“Oh, oh! Tsukioka-san, I heard you do tutoring part-time, too. What subjects do you do? Is it okay to ask for your help sometime?”

Tsumugi stutters.

“Wait, if you’re looking for new students, I want to be one too! College students are fine too, right? If you’re okay with teaching Japanese Literature...”

“Banri, you’re okay with sharing Tsukioka-san on occasion right?”

“Alright, alright, cut it out, you guys!” Banri intervenes, finally, much to Tsumugi’s relief. “I need to head back anyway, so I’ll be walking with Tsumugi-san from here.” Tsumugi thinks his heart is like a little kid with how much it’s jumping for joy at that alone. “You guys go on without me”

“Aw… Fine, we’ll catch you up on the project in the group chat then?”

“Yeah, yeah. See ya all tomorrow.”

The other college students didn’t question further and bid goodbye to the two as they walked away, though they seem to be looking forward to meeting Tsumugi again, whenever that happens. A couple of them wish to see him again when he’s on stage instead, which warmed up Tsumugi instantly. They’re good kids, he decides. And he’s always had a good judge of character, even for people he just met.

“That was incredibly embarrassing.” Banri clears the air once they were alone.

“Banri-kun? _Embarrassed_? Now isn’t that rare~” 

“Hey now.” Banri sighs. “Sorry, they kept badgering you like that.”

Tsumugi shakes his head, thinking it’s sweet of Banri to apologize for them. “They seem like a nice company.”

Banri scratches his neck. “Yeah, they’re interesting once you get to know them. It’s been fun to learn theatre with them.” He shakes the umbrella in his hands and holds it out in between them. “Let’s go?”

Tsumugi’s eyes widen, before nodding and smiling. “Let’s.”

They walk through a familiar route, not minding the light rain too much as they began idle talk. Banri brings up what they learned today in classes, and Tsumugi nods along. Normally, Tsumugi would be giving secondhand comments, but something remained in his mind that’s distracting him from becoming his theatre nerd self. 

He’s not against Banri becoming friends with people his age; in fact, he encourages it. But he can’t help but feel like he wishes he could do something they can do that he can’t. The scene from a while back replays in his mind, and something inside him wants to feel bold all of a sudden.

“Banri.” 

The brunette stops on his tracks. He turns to Tsumugi, who seems just as stunned by what he was able to articulate just now.

“Tsu… Wha?!” 

“I-I just—“ Tsumugi starts to turn pink. Dropping his honorifics for Banri is not the biggest, boldest move ever, but it felt really different nonetheless. “I wanted to t-try…”

Banri’s face can’t help but turn pink as well. He doesn’t speak for a while, which worries Tsumugi. “I… I see…” He turns his face away. Tsumugi can see a tint of warmth growing on the tip of Banri’s ears. 

Tsumugi opens his mouth. “Banri,” but the nerve he had a moment ago had run away sooner than he’d like, “-kun…” He looks to the ground in shame. He doesn’t hear Banri respond but instead feels a warmth around his fingertips. 

Banri’s hand on his.

“Don’t force yourself, Tsumugi-san.” 

Tsumugi looks up at Banri. He can see his other hand still holding the umbrella between them, sheltering them from the rain. Its shade almost makes it feel like the space between them is of another world. It also makes Banri feel much closer to him than he appears; the warmth of kindness he dotes upon Tsumugi radiates even stronger like this.

“Okay,” Tsumugi says simply.

The grip on their hands tighten. His courage is reserved for this, for now.

  
  


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It’s an off day. 

The first in a while. University activities have been piling up little by little, and even though he can skip a class and catch up another day, he’d rather not. That’s not him anymore. He promised it to himself, to the Director, and others — no more messing around. When he’s not focused on university, or any activities relating to it, he has the troupe to take care of. Training sessions are still regular, even off-season. He has to make sure Hyodo doesn’t wear himself down with all the sweets he shoves in mouth, (though, frankly, Juza wouldn’t care to listen, nor does he need to be watched over by Banri as if they’re not the same age.) Then there are nights where Itaru— without warning (or, probably warned, but Banri either forgot or _pretended_ to have forgotten), pulls Banri in for a game grinding session for a limited-time event. They’d be up until midnight, leaving Itaru be “ _gently”_ reminded by a scolding Izumi who comes to check on him at the dot, and Banri with much less energy than he needed to do anything else that he wanted to do instead of, ironically enough, games.

Today, however, is an off day _for real_. No homework on the pile, no meetings to be held, no training or practice, and no _Taruchi feat. NEO_ streaming plans. He even finally got the chance to sleep in again. His schedule is pretty much free for anything.

Including an impromptu café date.

Banri gets up from his bed and checks over the opposite side to find it empty. He remembers that Juza had been asked out by Tenma earlier that morning.

Well. Knowing Tenma, he probably thought too much on words and never exactly said it’s going to be _a date_. And knowing Hyodo, he may not even have read too much into the text.

Whatever. That’s not his business.

Point being, Hyodo’s not there to question him (not like Banri would answer) of why he’s suddenly in a hurry. Swiftly, he goes around his room to clothe himself properly, style his hair and put on his signature cologne. It doesn’t take long and he’s out the door, making his way to room 204. 

Except, he didn’t need to go upstairs to find Tsumugi, who’s out and about already in his gardening attire. Banri thinks of approaching him until he sees Tasuku’s figure emerging from the shade nearby. For some reason, Banri finds himself hiding behind a column. Immediately, he knows to himself that this is unnecessary, and he feels like a freak for it, but he still peeks just enough to see their two figures.

He can’t clearly hear what they’re saying. Something about an etude, which should be normal talk in this house of actors by now. Then it becomes something about “the old days”, which should also be the normal talk for the two childhood friends. Which is exactly the sting that jabs Banri. It’s just for those two, and only those two. 

Banri knows it’s unreasonable for him for these feelings to surface every time Tsumugi and Tasuku show their closeness through such simple actions, but he knows that he’d never had someone like that in his life to be able to understand it completely either. He kind of wishes he did, sometimes. The immediate comfort he sees Tsumugi in when talking to Tasuku makes him wish he also had someone he shared as many dumb memories as these two did.

Or, if he were to be frank with his own feelings, he wishes he had those kinds of memories with Tsumugi, too.

When Banri sees Tasuku leave the courtyard, he waits for three beats—no, _five beats_ , before he goes to greet Tsumugi too. “Good morning, Tsumugi-san,” he flashes a smile, seeming unassuming.

“Ah, Banri-kun, good morning! You’re up at an unusual time for the weekend. Usually, I’d see you be up earlier these days.”

“I don’t really got anything scheduled today, so I sort of slept in.” He shrugs casually. “What about you? You aren’t busy today by any chance, are you?”

“Oh, it has been a while since we last went to a cafe together.” Tsumugi doesn’t miss a beat of a hint from Banri’s question. “Hmm, perhaps some late lunch? There’s some landscaping I need to do before the sun rises to its peak.”

“Want some help then?” Banri excitedly offers, betting on the expectation he’ll get his reward much faster if Tsumugi gets his chore done sooner.

“That’d be great. Thank you, Banri-kun.”

Banri handles most of the labor work for Tsumugi. That includes moving around the bags of fertilizer, and lifting the pots to and fro the garden space. Tsumugi teaches Banri how to properly dig up around the roots of a couple of flower sprouts, pointing out how each species can have vastly different root ways, and that he should be careful with his shovel around them. 

“Some flowers also need space to breathe,” says Tsumugi, “so they can’t stay around a different kind for too long when they grow up, otherwise they’d be fighting for root space underground.”

“They’re surprisingly stingy against their own kind, huh.” 

Tsumugi giggles. “They all grow up differently, but they still need the same things as all living creatures do.” He pats the soil with his hands, firming it to the pot. “But you know, if we move them like this, it means they get to have new neighbors and friends. They won’t get lonely from being separated from the plants they grew with, if you think about it this way.”

Banri’s eyes widen. It’s an elementary-kid way of thinking about plants, but having it come from a sweet 25-year-old man makes it strangely endearing. 

“...Ah. That is, to say, uhm. I—”

Banri gives Tsumugi no room to continue as he takes off Tsumugi’s sunhat, shades their faces, and shuts his lips with his own.

“Ba—” Tsumugi is the first to pull away, cheeks full of red. “Banri-kun?!”

“Ah… Sorry, you were being really cute just now. I couldn’t help it.”

Tsumugi’s mouth moves, but no words come out. (It almost makes Banri want to kiss him again.) He commits to saying nothing at all. Instead, he lightly shoves Banri with his weight. 

Banri presses back against him playfully. 

Tsumugi then shoves a soil-stained thumb onto Banri’s face, earning him a slight whine from the younger. “Go clean up before breakfast.” He laughs and grabs the tools as he stands up, leaving Banri sitting in front of their finished work. 

Banri makes a sigh and turns to the flowers. They dance in the breeze, but to Banri’s eyes, it feels like they’re laughing at him. He probably deserves it.

“Your caretaker sure is something, isn’t he.”

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“I’m jealous, to be honest.”

Banri looks up from his phone after he sends a text to his meddlesome sister. “Huh?” 

“Your sister,” Tsumugi points out. “I mean, the fact you _have_ a sister is what I’m trying to say.”

“You’re jealous you don’t have an ogre lady dragging you around the house when she visits on holidays?” Banri lifts his coffee mug to take a sip. “That’s the least of your worries, Tsumugi-san.” 

“You know what I mean.”

Banri does, of course. He can’t imagine what it’s like to be a single child, but he’d like to think about the possibilities if he was one. “Being an only child has its advantages, too, doesn’t it?” 

“Perhaps.” Tsumugi taps on the cover of the book on his lap. “Though, I guess Tasuku and his brother were close enough to me that I regarded them like siblings of my own. Fuyuki made me feel spoiled sometimes.”

“Hm… That must’ve been nice.”

Tsumugi hums. “I suppose it’s easier saying it when you don’t have it.” 

It’s the nature of jealousy, Tsumugi thinks.

It’s in jealousy where Tsumugi feels like he doesn’t have as much of a family experience as some other households, despite having a very loving one that he’s very thankful for, mind you. It’s in jealousy where Tsumugi thinks that people younger his age have some things better than him, especially if that meant he could understand Banri a little bit better than he does now. He’s envious of the youth and the confidence Banri has, how bold and relentless he can be if he puts his mind into it. He’s conflicted at the thought that Banri could, and should, move on with his life and find a future that benefits him more than Tsumugi. 

To Banri, jealousy is like the lingering bitterness of an imperfect coffee blend. Even if you did each step as precisely as you can, it can still sneak its way into your tongue without warning.

It’s in jealousy where Banri feels like he might never feel he’s not good enough to stand beside Tsumugi, not like in the way Tasuku or any other adult he’s gotten close with before him. It’s in jealousy where Banri gets silly thoughts of becoming the flowers he pays attention to first thing in the morning, or their family dog that he tends to bring up with such a doting manner. Even for all the natural skill he has up in his sleeves, Banri wishes he can snap his fingers and be someone as mature, as attentive, and as sensitive as Tsumugi. Or just someone worthy enough to be his equal. 

But no one said getting to the best coffee blend was ever easy.

“Maybe,” Banri speaks up. “But when it comes things you have some chance of getting yourself, don’t you think that’s part of the excitement?”

Tsumugi can hear the resolve in Banri’s statement. It eases his heart. 

There’s always room for hope.


End file.
